Great Moments in Traffic Direction
Author Archives: mdw
Portland, Maine
I stayed at the Inn at St. John in Portland, Maine. It’s a well-maintained Victorian building that’s been a hotel continuously since 1897. It’s so old that it still uses metal keys.
I followed my usual well-formed plan of wandering around and looking at things.
As I was wandering, I happened across the Lobsterman statue that’s mentioned in Roadside America. It’s really more notable for its history. As maritime-themed statues go, it can’t compare to the seal-gutting statue in Copenhagen.
I also saw the Berlin Wall, previously seen in Berlin.
At the top of the hill in downtown Portland is an observatory that was built in 1807 by an entrepreneurial sea captain who set up an annual subscription service to notify ship owners when their ships were arriving. That sounded interesting, so of course it was closed for the season.
The following morning was cold and rainy with high winds, but I still walked over a mile to visit the International Cryptozoology Museum. I could have driven, but I had a good parking spot and I didn’t want to lose it.
The Cryptozoology Museum takes a very broad approach to cryptozoology. There are your serious cryptids (Bigfoot, chupacabras), the “intersection of cryptozoology and popular culture” (Godzilla, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the Creature from the Black Lagoon), hoaxes and fakes (jackalopes), animals thought to be extinct that later turned out not to be (coelacanths), animals that really are extinct (mastodons, dodos), animals that are extinct but that people claim to have seen anyway (thylacines), and things that are included for no readily apparent reason (Disneyland travel posters, some antique Santa Claus figurines, a rather nice collection of tiki mugs). There’s even a display case of “cryptoscatology” with artificial (I hope) poop from different animals (and humans), plus a giant pile of Bigfoot poop for comparison.
There’s a small section on lake monsters, but the only Ogopogo items are a souvenir ashtray from Kelowna and a couple similar knick-knacks.
Sadly, they prohibit photos except of the items below. Copyright issues, according to the friendly but somewhat intense owner.
The sun came out in the afternoon and I did more wandering.
Most of downtown Portland is kind of grimy, but State Street, at the top of the hill, retains a lot of its 19th century grandeur.
The grandest mansion is the Victoria Mansion, built in the 1850s. That one has tours, but it was closed for the season.
So I went down to Wharf Street and had a Bissel Kickflip at Mash Tun.
They Never Do
The Road to Portland
In the town of Wells, Maine, is a cheese shop shaped like a cheese. They even sell cheese, although I didn’t go inside to verify that. The shop has seen better days.
More impressive is Lenny the Chocolate Moose in nearby Scarborough. Lenny is accompanied by three chocolate bears and really looks very good for a 25-year-old piece of chocolate.
Lenny gets the coveted “Major Fun” rating, as well he should.
New Hampshire
There was snow and graupel through Vermont and into New Hampshire, but I am not one to complain about such things.
I checked in at my hotel in Concord—”Tru by Hilton”—which was nice enough, although it had cartoonish decor that looked like it was designed by Ikea, and the pillows smelled faintly of bug spray. On the plus side, there were no bugs in the pillows.
After checking in, I went downtown to Concord Craft Brewery and ordered a flight of beers before I found out that they weren’t serving food that day (Easter). So I drank the beer on an empty stomach and staggered around the block to a restaurant across from the capitol building and had a bison burger.
The next morning I checked out and drove to Portsmouth to see the massive tidal flows, which at about ten feet are second only to the Bay of Fundy. And I don’t doubt it, but shortly after low tide isn’t really the ideal time to see it. What you see is a lot of mud.
So not wanting to wait around for several hours, I drove a few miles south and toured the USS Albacore, a research submarine that was active from 1953 to 1972. As with St. Edmund’s severed arm, Roadside America rated this “Major Fun,” and I daresay it was even more fun than the arm.
Also notable is the fact that I didn’t hit my head even once.
The Tallest Thing in Vermont
Of all the things in Vermont, this thing is the tallest thing. None are taller. Outside of Vermont, there might be things that are taller, but that cannot be ascertained. All we can say at this time is that within Vermont, taller things are out of the question.
It was closed, of course.
Vermont
The Hudson River
Final Day on the Hudson
We had no real plans for Saturday, so we looked around for things to see in the Hyde Park area.
The Vanderbilt Mansion looked interesting, and might have been, but it was a two-hour wait to get in, so we just looked around outside.
The Roosevelt Library and Museum was similarly booked, so we looked around the Henry A. Wallace Visitor and Education Center (really).
We drove to a historic Huguenot street in New Paltz, but couldn’t find anything other than plaques. There are supposed to be some historic buildings there, but we sure didn’t see any.
So we had lunch at the Mill House Brewing Company in Poughkeepsie and went back to the house. When all else fails, you can count on Poughkeepsie.
Greenwich Village Food Tour
Friday we drove into New York City and took a food tour of Greenwich Village. On the way in we got a stunning view of the Statue of Liberty from the George Washington Bridge.
Other than a few airport layovers, I’d never been to NYC before, so I had very little sense of NYC geography. Weirdly, Greenwich Village seemed completely familiar to me by way of movies, TV shows, books, and music.
The tour was a historical walking tour with food samples at a number of historic restaurants and shops, mostly from the early 20th century. A knowledgeable and gregarious guide, combined with perfect weather, made it a fun afternoon.
And in a triumph of 21st century innovation, it turns out that you can reserve a parking space in NYC. Driving into the city and parking was surprisingly non-impossible.
The tour also included a stop in Washington Square Park, where we beheld many wonders.
