The high school reunion may be my mother’s purpose in going to Ohio, but my purpose is to get myself another Nerk shirt.

People in Central Ohio tend to slur the syllables of Newark together so that it sounds like Nerk. Ohio sounds like Ahia. That may be a slight exaggeration, but it’s true enough that stores in Newark sell shirts that say Nerk on them.

Or at least they did in 1979 when I got mine.

I’m sure they still have them. According to the guide book:

You won’t endear yourselves to most residents if you call it Nerk, Uh-hi-uh. Though the cloddish pronunciation can be seen on an occasional t-shirt, laughter about it has long since subsided in this old town.

But the guide book is from 1999, so I’ll bet they’re laughing again now.